Tagged: comedy

New Art Project Stuns Krakow

kladka_krakow_padlock

Notorious conceptual artist Albo Zips has proposed installing a giant ‘love lock’ on Krakow’s Kładka Bridge.

Hundreds of couples have fixed engraved padlocks to the bridge since it opened in 2010, sealing the romantic gesture by tossing the keys into the river below.

Albo Sips, whose previous projects include converting the city’s 35-metre tall Piłsudski and Kościuszko Mounds into a pair of gigantic breasts, has applied for six million euros of EU funding to construct the proposed padlock and hoist it into place.

When asked if the lock would bear an inscription, Zips said: “Probably something like, ‘Presented to the City of Krakow by Jacek Majchrowski – Now you have to love me forever!'”

Krakow Plans Underground Airships, Unicorns

airships

Buoyed by overwhelming public enthusiasm for the proposed Krakow metro, city officials have revealed plans for an underground airship network.

“It’s time Krakow took it’s place in modern Europe,” shouted a spokesperson from the top of a giant ferris wheel, “Everyone’s got a metro – we need something bigger, better.”

The plan calls for 97 kilometres of 500m-wide tunnels to be dug under the city, connecting critical hubs such as the city council chamber and the mayor’s private residence.

“We expect the project to take about six weeks, and funding will be covered by a small rise in public transport ticket prices.”

A referendum planned for May 25 will put public transport questions to Krakow residents, including: “Are you in favour of the underground airship programme, or do you hate your country?”

Quizzed on the alternative of simply having more and more frequent trams, officials reportedly rolled their eyes and mimed snoozing.