The Krakowian can exclusively reveal that a spy with the code name ‘Twardowski’ recorded conversations between government ministers and other high-ranking officials.
Twardowski, believed to have been in hiding on the moon since losing a bet some time ago, eschewed modern covert recording devices to obtain the tapes that currently have Poland’s government in turmoil. Instead, he attached a tiny recorder to a spider, and lowered the creature to earth to eavesdrop on the private conversations.
In the latest tape, Poland’s foreign minister is heard to say that a long-standing friendship is ‘worthless’ and that his family all lack self-esteem.
The minister added: “Arghhh! A spider! Get it off me!”
The Krakowian attempted to contact Pan Twardowski for comment, but his agent said he was currently holidaying in Rome and could not be reached.